It's hard

Being a mom, that is. The days are long and the nights drag on sometimes. The whining drives me crazy and I just want to pee alone, without having cars driven up and down my legs. I get tired of saying "NO!" and counting to 3.

I sometimes let the bad outweigh the good. I hear the fighting more than I hear the laughter between them. I let the incessant questions bother me instead of letting the "mama, hold you" warm my heart.

On the days I haven't prayed for patience and grace, I know. Oh boy, do I know.

But. BUT. There are so many moments where the light shines through the darkness and kids eat dinner with no complaints and bedtime is not met with tears and she tells me I'm her best friend and my heart feels like it can not hold anymore love for these 2 babies than in this moment right now. And I stop and thank Him for the glorious gift of these children.

Because I know this time is fleeting and one day I will miss stepping on bulldozers in the middle of the night and I know she won't always want to hold my hand in Walgreens...and so I stop. And I soak it in. And the frustrations and annoyances slowly give way to laughter and love and I feel so lucky to be their mom.