She had another seizure. Last Thursday morning. Exactly 4 weeks after the first one. Exactly like the first one.
So now? We find out why. An EEG and an MRI are already scheduled within the next two weeks.
I'm not ready to let her sleep alone yet, at least until we get some answers, so we've made some sleeping adjustments which put me at ease (as much as I can be). I have to admit, it's pretty sweet to wake up to cuddles and "mama you're my best frand".
I've discovered through this whole thing that I do better when distracted. My mind fills with anxious thoughts if left to its own devices, so I try not to let it. I really don't think about the what-ifs until night time. Or driving alone. I don't let myself google anything because I just can't let myself go there. It could literally consume my every thought, but I just pray the minute I start to worry or let my mind drift. I've had more moments of peace than anything else and that can only come from the Lord.
I have to trust that the One who created her, who literally wired her brain and knows every hair on her head will protect her. No matter the outcome, she is His.
I read a quote from Beth Moore that gives me hope during this season of struggle:
"God knows when something glorious in the future necessitates something difficult in the present. Because He knows the glory will be worth it, God will risk misunderstanding."
I have to believe that something glorious will come from all this. It will be worth it.